For young couples just starting out the thought of parenting and family can both a joy and a worry. Many young couples dream of what their future family life will be like and create great expectations for how it will be. However, it can also create anxiety and uncertainty as well when it comes to family roles. Who will work? who will stay home? how will we discipline and reward them? who will do the house chores? who will handle the money? What rules and values do we want to setup for our home?
All of this question can create great anxiety and nervousness for young people who don't know the answer to those questions. Yes, it would be nice to have that comfort and security going in having the answers to the questions however parenting is something where you learn as you go, and you won't find out what works and what doesn't until you are experiencing it firsthand.
However, the lord does provide comfort and guidance we can follow to increase harmony in the home where every member is working towards the same goal. For harmony in family life is a labor of love with each member contributing to the desired outcome.
" Family work provides endless opportunities to recognize and fill others’ needs. It thus teaches us to love and serve one another, inviting us to be like Jesus Christ. Elder Neal A. Maxwell observed,
“The divine attributes of love, mercy, patience, submissiveness, meekness, purity . . . cannot be developed in the abstract. These require the clinical experiences. . . . Nor can these attributes be developed in a hurry"
The focus shouldn't be on the task but, on the person, and what we can learn about each other while fulfilling family tasks. For example, recognizing Susie's skill in organization through cleaning kitchen, or Bobbies skills in scheduling by keeping the family, Calander.
"When family members work together in the right spirit, a foundation of caring and commitment grows out of their shared experience. The most ordinary tasks, like fixing meals or doing laundry, hold great potential for connecting us to those we serve and with whom we serve."
"Family work thus reveals a profound potential to strengthen and heal relationships. Performing mundane yet essential tasks for those who cannot do so for them-selves can create, in the absence of pride, a precious connection between giver and receiver. As we figuratively touch each other at the simple level of everyday need, routine acts of service begin to mend f feelings and foster unity. A mother of four related:
"When my mother was twelve, her mother abandoned her and left her with an alcoholic, abusive father. My mother knew why my grandmother left but still felt cheated. Their relationship had been strained for years when my grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. But my mother decided to care for her. At first, she resented her mother’s constant demands.
She had to say a silent prayer at the door of Granny’s bedroom every time she entered. But something happened during the five months that my mother gave round-the-clock service to my grandmother. My mother came to deeply love her mother. She later explained to me, “When I took care of her, I could see who she was. When I would bathe her or see her in a vulnerable moment, my whole body would fill with love and warmth, and I would just feel for her. I got back more than I gave.”
This is a perfect example of how through service the lord can soften our hearts enough where we can feel that Christ like love and restore fragmented relationships through humility and forgiveness. There is no perfect family or perfect situation, but the lord doesn't expect perfection. He just wants to do our best and never give up and he will bless us with healing in his wings.
So, for the young couples just starting out don't fret you will figure out what's best for your family. Knowlege comes in time and experience, but you will get there and build a strong happy family life if you build your foundation on the Lord Jesus Christ.
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